I could be doing

ALOT instead of blogging.
I could be cleaning, going out side with the twins, go shopping, but no I SIT here and watch "The View" It became interesting when Briana see's Whoopy Goldberg and says "Mickey mouse" (Whoopy is wearing mickey ears they are in Disney Land) So when did one of my twins discover Mickey? I don't remember do they just know who Mickey is? Whats so interesting about this mouse that is overly sized with big black nose and a smile that is as wide as his face? God how did i have four children? really now. I even wished twins upon myself, I remember watching a baby story on TLC and i was barely pregnant and it was one on twins, I told Brandon that ohhh shes so lucky! The next day i had my ultrasound "holy shit theres two" I couldent believe my eyes I was crying, i was shaking, I was scared that I wouldent be able to hold two babies in my belly. What an experiance I was lucky, didn't have any complications besides my fears of always being in labor, and of course major pain from carrying two babies. I would be in chat rooms and listen to woman complain about how much they hurt with one baby, Id roll my eyes with the smiley icons to them. Really you have no idea I mean I do KNOW it is not comfortable in anyway to be pregnant with one. I couldent even imagine carrying more than two, and I WOULDENT WANT TO! Does every woman have this odd desire to have children? I think so. It is just built into us, even when our children are being little shits we still love them and want more! Funny thing is the man is always so much more afraid of pregnancy that a woman. Why? well I think it's because it is built into them that they are to care for not only the child but the mother as well for the rest of thier lives (not like marriage is any worse right?) I just realised I havent had a vacation since I had my honey moon/mariage in Las vegas. Wow . Oh my Husband is asleep I so badly want to jump on him trust me in a non sexual way and wake him up. But then he would just get on the computer and do nothing. I want time with him, GOOD time not just watching tv but getting to know more about eatchother laugh and love like it was new again instead of this daily routine of getting up, and rushing children out the door to school. Is this what it all is? A routine for life. Whats going to happen when all my kids grow up and move out? Will me and Brandon sit here and say "yep" "sooooo what should we do?" Will we even have the money to travel and do things? Or will we be too well off and he will be into his work or will I be that way. Or will we always live this ordinary life being in the lower class depending on medicare? Sometimes that is what i forsee. Will i be a widow and have a husband lost to this horrible disease called diabities? AND then have to watch my son suffer. I want life to be good and fullfilled we only have so long on this earth only so long. It scares me I don't want to be gone from my kids, I don't want them gone from me. I must be feeling extra emotional from being on my period. STUPID curse, i CAN'T even have kids and yet I still have to deal with the bitch aunt flow.
Pledge Multi-surface here i come.