I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

If it wasen't for...

Ive been comming here to blog, leave..come back...now im sitting down to write my feelings and thoughts.
Brandon is a TR baby. If it was not for that choice that his mom made, my children would not be here. It's kind of weird to think about. It also brings my feelings of loss up that i'll never have anymore children. I don't know it is a touchy subject. But it's my feelings. I wish i would have never made the mistake of going threw with it. I don't feel like writing anymore I don't want to cry

Monday, May 18, 2009

Somebody's watching me.

"I get no privacy whoa oh"

So I wake up feeling funny this morning, confused in a daze as i pry my eyes open from a long night of dreams. I dreampt i was yonger in this dream i had no children, no husband. It was like the clock turned back time for a few seconds and took me to my childhood a feeling of wanting to escape, and fear.
It was time for a convention a bibe one, it was to tell everyone that the end is here. Thousands and thousands of people showed up, i was holding hands with my mom running up twords the tacoma dome to listen to the speaker. We ran into Jerry Seinfield and he wanted to sit with us. My mom was all giddy and happy about it (but it was wierd because we were laying down not sitting so picture that if you can) I put my arms around Jerry and held tight. I felt very secure and safe. The convention was over, and I told Jerry my mom liked him,. He told me "well I like you." he had told my mom the way i held him made him feel like a man (hahahahahha) My mom was pissed and all the sudden I was an adult and told her i could see him if i wanted to. So my dream was just about ways of getting to see him. The dream may not sound like much but it really had alot of emotion to it. Okay moving on ...

The other night at 10:30 I hear "knock knock knock" Im like who the hell? and of course my kids all rush to the door asking "who is it" I didn't look threw the peeper, because I thought i had saw who it was threw the window curtain. Well to my surprise it was someone i don't know some CREEPY looking older man saying "does she live her" I told him he had the wrong house. He kept standing there finaly he left! I had a hard time sleeping that night, I went upstairs around 1am to check on the kids, eventhough Brandon was up on the computer.

okay since i started writing i have ideas on what to write about in other blogs. this blog had nothing to do with anything really. NEXT.